🎧 Listen

Understand the Payoff
Here's the uncomfortable truth: self-sabotage protects you from something. Maybe it's the fear of success and what you'd have to live up to. Maybe it's the terror of failure and confirmation of your worst beliefs about yourself. Maybe staying small keeps you safe from criticism or expectation. Until you understand what your self-sabotage is protecting you from, you're fighting blind.
Challenge the Story
Self-sabotage runs on a narrative—"I'm not the kind of person who succeeds," or "Good things don't happen to people like me." These stories feel like facts because you've been living them for years. They're not. Start questioning them like you would a stranger's advice. Where's the evidence? What would change if they weren't true?
Make Different Choices, Repeatedly
Power builds through small, consistent actions that contradict your old patterns. If you sabotage through avoidance, you build power by showing up. If you sabotage through perfectionism, you build power by doing things badly and doing them anyway. These choices feel unnatural at first—that's how you know they're working.
Expect Discomfort
The space between self-sabotage and power is deeply uncomfortable. You'll feel exposed, vulnerable, like you're walking around without armor. That feeling isn't a sign you're doing it wrong. It's proof you're doing it right. Personal power requires tolerating the discomfort of being seen, of mattering, of having something to lose.
Stop Waiting for Permission
Self-sabotage often thrives on the belief that you need to be ready, healed, or worthy before you can claim your power. You don't. You claim power by acting as though you already have it, even when everything inside you insists you don't. The feeling of being powerful comes after the practice of acting powerfully, not before.
The shift from self-sabotage to power isn't a revelation or a breakthrough moment. It's a slow, often frustrating process of choosing differently until the new choices become your new normal. And then one day you realize: you're not fighting yourself anymore. You're just moving forward.